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Girls of Summer: Who’s on Rosebud Magazine's Radar this Summer

How much fun would it be to play Battleship with Brooklyn Decker? How much fun would it be to play Battleship with Brooklyn Decker?

 

Ever since the great white shark made a snack out of that bikinied babe in the 1975 blockbuster Jaws, summer has been the perfect time for foxy females in mega-hit movies meant to arouse the interest of a nation full of vacationing adolescents (and plenty of adults as well). 2012 might just be the best summer yet, with big-screen babes battling drug cartels, vampire confederates, and mutant man-eaters between now and Labor Day. Introducing Rosebud’s hottest summer movie beauties.

Brooklyn Decker

Age: 25
Hometown: Kettering, Ohio

Where have I seen her before?

Plastered to the inside of a million middle-school boys’ locker doors as the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl for 2010. The lanky beauty made her screen debut in last year’s atrocious Adam Sandler vehicle Just Go With It, where the incredibly decked and soaking-wet Brooklyn pushed the common bikini well beyond its acceptable limits. Last month she was seen in the star-studded chick flick What To Expect When You’re Expecting, which features the globally catastrophic acting team up of Cameron Diaz and J-Lo.

She’s also married to perennially underperforming American tennis star Andy Roddick — but would you be able to concentrate on the court if you had that waiting for you at home?

The Look:

Blonde surfer-girl perfection with a physics-defying body. So flawless and manufactured, she’s like an absurdly expensive high-performance sports car, but with huge boobs.

What’s Next?

This summer Brooklyn will save the world from an alien invasion in the cheetastical sci-fi combat epic Battleship, which is very logically based on the old Milton Bradley board game with the plastic pegs and little destroyers that always got stuck in the shag carpet. Whatever. One look at Brooklyn and you can consider us sunk.



Anne Hathaway

Age: 29
Hometown: Brooklyn, New York

Where have I seen her before?

The onetime squeaky-clean star of such Disney matinee fare as the cutesy Princess Diaries series is now more famous for getting very, very naked in grown-up stuff like Love and Other Drugs. She was far and away the most hetero thing in Brokeback Mountain and formed perhaps the worst co-hosting duo in Academy Awards history alongside James Franco.  

The Look:

Wholesome yet sultry, like a hyper-sexed-up cartoon rabbit.

What’s next?

Hathaway will be joining the decade-spanning list of mega-babes including Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt, Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry when she slips into the sleek black body stocking of Catwoman in director Christopher Nolan’s latest grit-coated entry in the immortal Batman franchise.  



Kate Beckinsale

Age: 38
Hometown: Finsbury Park, London, England

Where have I seen her before?

Beckinsale has the strange ability to bounce back and forth between period pieces like Cold Comfort Farm, micro indie dramas like Snow Angels and brain dead big budget action blockbusters. Perhaps most famously she’s the avatar of pseudo goth legend, pouring her lithe frame into crevice-revealing leather cat suits in the Underworld series. Sure, she plays a ruthless, werewolf splattering unholy bloodsucker, but oh does she make it hurt so good.

The Look:

Like an ornate, high-class porcelain doll handcrafted by anime perverts. Appears fragile, but has a vacuum tight body that is more aerodynamic than a stealth bomber.

What’s next?

After sweeping the streets of lupine filth in the umpteen millionth Underworld flick this winter, the relentless Kate rounds out her jam packed 2012 calendar with the upcoming reboot of Total Recall. We’re not sure what sort of lunatic would want to mess with the gonzo absurdity of the hyper-violent Arnold Schwarzenegger original, but they’ve gone ahead and done it anyway. She’ll be slipping into the silky lingerie worn by Sharon Stone in the first one, but Beckinsale is always at her best when she gets to unleash her sultry inner vamp.  


Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Age: 27
Hometown: Rocky Mount, North Carolina

Where have I seen her before?

As Ramona Flowers, the funky proto-goth chick for whom Michael Cera’s title character had to defeat an army of kung fu-fighting evil exes in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. She also played Bruce Willis’ sexy daughter in Live Free or Die Hard, but don’t hold that against her.

The Look:

Brainy, snarky, smoldering brunette. The girl next door, in the kind of hip suburb that really only exists in places like Portland.

What’s next?

Winstead will next be seen lending her friendly curves as inspiration to help Honest Abe (Ben Walker) dispatch legions of confederate bloodsuckers in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Oh sure, Mary Elizabeth is roughly four bazillion times hotter than the frumpy real-life (and slightly cuckoo) Mary Todd Lincoln, but are you really going to start quibbling with the historical accuracy of a flick where the Great Emancipator spends his off hours hacking up vampires with his trusty axe?


Blake Lively

Age: 24
Hometown: Los Angeles, California

Where have I seen her before?

One of the hottest women with a man’s name, Blake romanced the pants right off Ben Affleck in the ultra-rough crime caper The Town (and did a decent Beantown accent too). She also made Ryan Reynolds save the day in Green Lantern, a bright spot in one of last summer’s big flops. Oh, and you may have seen her on a little television program called Gossip Girl.

The Look:

Like a thousand kinky Midwest cheerleader fantasies melted down and injected directly into a Barbie mold.

What’s Next?

Being taken hostage by a ruthless Mexican drug cartel in Savages, Oliver Stone’s cracked-out tale of rival dealers run amok. The movie’s heroes, a pair of best buddy growers, share everything — including Ms. Lively — and must get over their jealousy before going to save her. One peek at those perfect legs and you too might charge into enemy territory with guns blazing.


Danielle Panabaker

Age: 25
Hometown: Augusta, Georgia

Where have I seen her before?

On the big screen, Panabaker excels as horror-movie victim. She had the honor of being turned into horny teenage spam by Jason’s machete in the latest Friday the 13th reboot and got killed by a rampaging car wash in 2010’s The Crazies remake. If you want to see her survive a movie, check out 2005’s teen superhero comedy Sky High.

The Look:

Willowy, ginger-topped minx with a stealthy hotness that sneaks up and slaps you in the face.

What’s Next?

Danielle will next be seen slipping into a teeny tiny bikini and going for a very risky dip in the follow-up to the utterly ridiculous killer-fish gore-comedy Piranha 3D — now in “double D!” Given Danni’s track record, we’re betting on the fish.

© Copyright RosebudMag.com, 2012



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Last modified on Monday, 13 August 2012 18:31

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