Pickup Lines You Should Never Use

Written by Alaina Coyle
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Lame and clichéd pickup lines won’t impress her.

Guys, we’ve got to hand it to you. Throughout the years, your gender has come up with some truly horrendous pickup lines. We admit some of them are a little funny - and if they are said jokingly, they can even be a bit cute. As for the rest, however, you’d be better off saving your breath.

Thousands of pickup lines have been tried (and rejected) for as far back as there have been guys and girls at bars. While a few (very few) may be effective, the majority of pickup lines are corny, offensive, and just plain pathetic. These are the categories we’ve narrowed down for our list of pickup lines you should never use.

The Corny

“Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night.” Perhaps this one got results 20 years ago, but you’re way behind the times. Bring your game up to speed.

“Do you come here often?” Is this really the best you can do?

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” All right, if this one is said with a smile that lets us know you realize how corny you sound, you might have a chance. A slim chance.

“I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.” You’re going home alone tonight, pal.

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?” Go back to “Understanding Women 101.” We don’t like guys with over-inflated egos.

The Offensive

“Screw me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?” Come on guys, give us a little respect. We didn’t come to the club to meet trashy boys like you.

“Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?” Please. Do you really expect us to respond well to this one?

“Great legs. What time do they open?” Nice try. While your buddies think this one’s hilarious, we’re just insulted.

“Those pants look good on you, but they would look better lying on my floor.” Hasn’t anyone ever told you that cockiness is not attractive?

“Are you cold? Because I’ve been undressing you with my eyes.” Unless you’re Johnny Depp, you can’t pull this one off.

The Pathetic

“You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.” Do you actually think we’ll be impressed by this? Your ego can keep you company in the Porsche on your ride home.

”It’s your lucky day! Out of all the girls here, I picked you to talk to.” Oh gee, I’m so flattered! (Rolling eyes)

“Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you’re the only ten I see!” We give this one a ten on the lameness scale.

“Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get.” Points for creativity, but it still won’t get you any phone numbers.

“I should arrest you for stealing my heart.” I’m sorry – do I have desperate written on my forehead? No? That must be you.

Sadly, many women fall for pickup lines; otherwise they would have died off by now. You would think that with all the technology and knowledge we have in our modern world, guys would have come up with a better system. Fortunately most men have graduated from the lame one-liners and have gotten a bit more creative with their efforts, but still – isn’t there a more effective way to get dates? We suppose as long as there are clubs and bars, the pickup line will live on. Just promise us you won’t ask what sign we are.