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Kris Humphries Making Headlines as Mr. Kim Kardashian

Kris Humphries enjoys playing with bulbous objects, as both his NBA career and relationship with Kim Kardashian can atest. Kris Humphries enjoys playing with bulbous objects, as both his NBA career and relationship with Kim Kardashian can atest.

Have you wondered what a mediocre NBA player is doing all over the headlines at the grocery store lately? New Jersey Nets power forward Kris Humphries seems to be making a name for himself, but certainly not because of his performance on the court. Instead, it has more to do with his love connection with socialite and paparazzi magnet Kim Kardashian. Apparently the two are in love. Should sports fans care?


Maybe the better question is this: Should anyone care? When not making homemade porn with C-list rappers, Kardashian enjoys hooking up with pro athletes. And for some reason, the publishing world and media in general seem to think that’s noteworthy. Hey, I’m writing about it right now!

Actually, until researching this article I couldn't even say exactly what Kardashian was famous for. After reading her wikipedia page, I’m still a little in the dark. Something about being rich, making a sex tape, and getting a reality show. A spin through Google Images reveals that she has garnered interest for certain other assets (with a capital A) as well.

So now Humphries, a journeyman NBAer at 25 and a man with a modest career as far as that goes, is the talk of the town. The offensively challenged power forward does have a knack for hauling down rebounds, but playing for the Nets presents challenges of its own. The Nets this year have a winning percentage of .292, which is still good enough to keep them four spots from last in the dismal Eastern Conference basement.

Now that it looks like Carmelo Anthony will not be headed to Jersey, the Nets are going to have to toil away awaiting another savior. As far as I can tell, New Jersey hoops fans will have to be patient for a few more seasons before getting to plunk down money to see a winning team.

That said, Brook Lopez and Devin Harris are guys they could conceivably build around. And even Humphries is a decent role player. If he could fashion himself in Ben Wallace’s image, which he seems on his way to doing, he might be able to stick around in New Jersey a little longer than he did in either Utah, Toronto, or Dallas. At least he’s not in the D-League. It’s hard to imagine Kardashian would be as willing to stick around if her man’s social status took that kind of hit. I don’t know her, so maybe I shouldn’t suggest that Kardashian isn’t a woman of principles (I’ll leave that to PETA). But let’s just say I’m skeptical of a person’s ethics who’s famous for spending money and making her sex life public.

Cynicism aside, let’s wish Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian well. Humphries’ blue collar style on the court is, after all, the type of play I’ve often admired, and there’s no reason to let all the hoopla around a hopeless team like the New Jersey nets affect any observer’s neutrality. As for the headlines, it could be that Kardashian’s bottom benefits the NBA's bottom line. I mean, hey, basketball and Kim Kardashian have this in common: they both interest people who enjoy watching bulbous objects bouncing.  

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Last modified on Wednesday, 10 October 2012 15:04

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