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TWILIGHT, TRUE BLOOD, NEW MOON VAMPIRES COMING FOR YOU NOW

True Blood vampire babe puts the bite on Twilight and you True Blood vampire babe puts the bite on Twilight and you

True Blood, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse. Vampires are everywhere. In movies, on television, in bookstores, even in your bedroom…

When a 23-year-old Phoenix woman recently pled guilty to tying up her lover during sex and stabbing him several times with multiple knives so she could drink his blood, it got me thinking- maybe vampires aren’t good for society.

What started as folklore, horror novels, trash television and dumb movies are now the rage for people infatuated with vampiric lifestyles. Hell, there are even blood drinking parties:
“Blood is a very fascinating thing,” proclaims online guidelines for wannabe vampires. “It's life. It's a pretty color. An odd taste. It flows curiously. It feels different every time. Cuts will usually be made with razor blades or more crude knives and are fairly superficial and made in an easy to hide area such as the inner arm. Rarely will this become a compulsion or a fetish.”

Sounds like a compulsive fetish to me. Let’s face it- hordes of sweating, mutant-pubescent tweener girls are swooning over Kristin Stewart and skeletal Robert Pattinson, who looked better when he was in Harry Potter.

Tweenies and adults get wet over True Blood’s psychic hottie X-Men Anna Paquin, who won an Oscar at age 11 for playing a spoiled little girl tossed up on a stormy New Zealand beach in the movie “The Piano.”

Twilight is kind of about a sexually repressed but perpetually orgasmic young girl whose heart races every time her high school heartthrob Edward Cullen enters her mind, and her dreams.
True Blood, Twilight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dark Shadows, Hellsing, Blood Ties, Anne Rice, The Vampire Diaries and other modern vampires ain’t nothing compared to the 1871 novel “Carmilla” about a MILF lesbian vampire who seduces and feeds off the blood of a friendless young woman.

Vampire sex is what this craze is all about. Early in the True Blood series, before Paquin’s “Sookie Stackhouse” character opened her heart and legs onscreen for vampire Bill, HBO gave viewers repeated doses of Paquinesque soft porn, showing the actress fantasizing about Bill while she caressed her own lithe young body.

I watched True Blood a few times, and Paquin is a hot babe, the special effects are technically advanced, and the plot is fast-paced. But geez… the True Blood fictional redneck Louisiana town of “Bon Temps” is like a Twilight Jerry Springer society.

The big problem is some people, like that weird vampire chick in Arizona, can’t tell fantasy from reality!

Sexy Anna makes my blood boil!

Is it any wonder that the Paquin and her onscreen lover are real-life lovers, or that the Kristin Steward (who plays Bella in Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse) is dating Robert Pattinson?

Just to be on the safe side, I’m wearing high-necked shirts and a shiny silver cross around my neck. Oh, did I mention my little bag of garlic, and the silver stake I carry? When the Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, True Blood and other vampires come at me, I’m ready!

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Twilight is a vampire movie making tons of money.
Last modified on Tuesday, 05 June 2012 20:50

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